the blog i never update

I HAVE GOT TO STOP DOING THIS

NO MORE 5 PM COFFEES

I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP AT NIGHT AUGHHHHHHHHH

Dear Cassandra,
How awful to be struck down in the last lap of the session.
I will refer your question further up the line and let you know regarding an extension further up the line and get back to you.
In the meantime don't freak out!
If you've been working consistently in your studio over the session the majority of the work should be completed.
Project 4 is the work that is what is being completed by most students in this last week so we should be able to take your illness into account when assessing this project next Wednesday.
Get well and do get a medical certificate.
Best,
Fiona

Hahahahahahahaha sob

"If you've been working consistently in your studio over the session the majority of the work should be completed."

"If you've been working consistently in your studio over the session the majority of the work should be completed."



BUT WHAT IF I HAVEN'T there is no way i can convey this to my teach without. you know. coming across as a total procrastinating idiot who is just scrambling for more time. which is what i am, but you know. I DIDN'T COUNT ON GETTING SICK.

fuck fuck i am going to fail this subject fuck

I always seem to forget that if it's overcast at my place, it's almost certainly raining in the umbrella city. I AM WITH IT, TOTALLY. NOBODY SAW THAT. Damn and blast. (An expression that comes across certainly more mild than I am feeling right now.) I hate getting caught in the rain without an umbrella. Aghhh.

Add to that the fact that my $15 flats from Target have finally outlived their usefulness. The soles on the heels are becoming detached from the shoe, which of course means that the soles of my shoes are now completely sopping wet. I don't wear socks with my flats, so of course I am now the owner of a pair of very cold, very wet feet. Oh well. For a pair of $15 shoes that have been worn near-out every day since I bought them six months ago, it's about all I can expect. At least they were comfortable while they lasted 8|a.

I'm also fairly certain I have a fever but small details. I am not going to let that stop me from attending the last two days of semester after I've been working so desperately to keep afloat. Bugger. Bugger everything.

This semester has been so trying. I can't remember the last time I felt so wrung out, even though I know that realistically I worked more and slept less during the HSC a few years back. When did doing work become such a hard thing for me?

I'm so ready for this semester to be over. I'm unreasonably angry that we only have three weeks worth of winter break, even though I know that's all we ever get. Why give us four months worth of summer holidays and then only three weeks for winter? It seems a little ridiculous. I'd gladly trade a couple of weeks off summer to get some extra break time in the winter. I know that three weeks is not going to be long enough for me to properly recuperate from all the stress I've felt this semester taking on more hours than I'm used to.

I'm wound tight as a spring too, waiting to hear back from the exchange office, now I've handed all my forms in. I know that realistically, we won't hear back from them for around 6-8 weeks (so, when we go back next semester). But it's killing me, sitting on my bum, waiting, not being able to do or hear anything. It enters my mind at least three times a day. I know I'll probably be crushed if I don't even get into my first preference, never mind if I don't get to go at all. But that's what I'd deserve for letting myself get stupidly excited about these things and convincing myself I have a chance.

... I don't really know where I'm going with this entry so I'll quit while I'm ahead.


ETA: Oh right, I am fucked for tomorrow's final. Technically, it's only 11:30pm, I could stay up later and do some last minute cramming. But instead I am choosing to get a full night's sleep over possibly making the difference between passing/failing Spanish. (If I can sleep.) I wonder what this says about my priorities.