Feb. 15th, 2010

emiri: (hmmm. yeahhh. no.)
It has-- somewhat ridiculously, I realise-- only just hit me how completely dependant I am on my journal as an emotional outlet or as a source of talking through my problems or crowing about a good day, etc. I still haven't got internet on my computer over here, and even if I had I don't think I'd be updating any more than I already am because every day just seems busy from start to finish. When I'm not at school or studying (because there are tests almost every day) or doing homework (something I suddenly have a LOT of again; I feel like I'm back in school, only it's been way too long since I studied this much for anything) or sorting my shit out (cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, shopping for groceries-- which I have to do every second or third day because my pantry and fridge is TINY), I'm ... actually having a social life or experiencing as much of the country as I can on my weekends. The second one I can understand, but the first?

Yeah, I'm just as shocked as you are. The words "Cass" and "social life" don't really seem to belong in the same sentence.

Don't get me wrong, that's not to say that I'm going out every night and partying or drinking or anything like that. Socialising here with the international students is a bit different to what passes as socialising back home. For starters, I do most of my socialising in the kitchen. Basically, after class finishes most days around 5, I go grocery shopping for whatever I (or someone else) is making for dinner that night. (If nobody is cooking and I don't feel like it, I buy a veggie, a fruit and a riceball. Or dumplings of some description if I want meat.) Then we get home around 6 and start cooking. The rice cooker takes 45 minutes to do rice, for some reason, so we spend around an hour in the kitchen just preparing the food and talking and then sit down to eat around 7. (By we, I mean the girls that I'm friends with and I. We're a group of around 5, though sometimes we eat with other girls too. The boys' kitchen is on the level below and it's fairly grody in comparison to ours, so we don't venture down there. Mostly they venture up to ours instead.)

After dinner we'll sit around in the kitchen and talk or watch whatever hilarity is on the TV or play cards and then do the cleaning up. By about 8 everyone settles down either in the (now clean) kitchen/dining area or the common room to do their homework or study or surf the intenet on their laptop. (Or in my case, do my homework and study intermittently by helping other people do their homework. Of course, it doesn't help me study for my class, but it helps me to remember more basic grammar points that I might otherwise forget. I don't really know how it happened, but I kind of like suddenly being known as being someone people can go to for homework help, it makes me feel useful and competent again 8D.) The work gets done pretty slowly though because everyone's chatting inbetween homework questions. So by the time I'm finished that, it's 11pm and time for bed, because I have to be up ay 7:30 bright and early for class the next day.

And as for a typical weekend, well, that usually consists of going out sightseeing on both days with my group.

So as you can see, I still don't have a lot of time for the internet even if... I actually had working internet! Which I still don't, but am hoping to get fixed tomorrow. (Along with a cellphone, hopefully, a sports bra, and the ingredients for cream stew! Since I finish class early tomorrow.)

On the down side, I'm feeling pretty emotionally and mentally drained. I'm busy every day and while I am absolutely 100% LOVING every second of it, the introvert in me is really screaming for some quiet down-time, just being alone. And I haven't been really able to update about the emotional side of things and get stuff off my chest because I don't have the time, which then in turn feeds into feeling further emotionally drained! So I'm going to have to make time for that soon. Like the title of this entry (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) states: I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS.

As it took me five seconds to realise what was wrong with what I had just previously typed ("cheek-in-tongue" by accident), I'd say it's time for em to go to bed. My English gets steadily worse with every day that I'm here, but I'm not sure my Japanese is improving at a steady enough rate to keep up with it. Hrrk.

I'm also joining the running club next week to get fit and lose all the weight I've put back on from eating so many bloody carbs over here (they're unavoidable). Wish me luck! I shall try not to die. (Before that, though, I need to find a sports bra. Maybe wish me luck for that instead.)